1001 – Harland Williams

 

PARDCAST.COM MESSAGE BOARD FOR THIS EPISODE

Intro

Starting season 10 with a clunker, despite Jimmy’s brand-spankin’-new gold microphone

Chilly last night. Hot tamale?

Matt is totally on board with the Santa/Christmas situation

Kids are having Christmas ruined because they find out on the internet that S**** C**** is not r***

When is Eliot going to drop INDHD.com?

5:00

Everyone but Jimmy is wearing Dan Katz creations

Tony Soprano impression

Showing off NNF swag

What’s up with FedEx/Kinkos?

Paul Harvey apparently shows up with news about the post office

What is egg nog?

10:00

How and when Jimmy and Harland met

Harland is a professional for sitting patiently, keeping his nog opinions to himself until introduced

Harland seems to have a naugahyde agenda

15:00

How Harland ruined Jimmy’s Halloween

Oliver loves the “Buddies” movies

Harland Williams: prolific children’s book author

Harland’s virginity loss vs. Jimmy’s “girl voice”

20:00

Jimmy as “Margaret”

Persnickety, the British candy bar

Could Jesus walk on bottled water

Harland may have skipped a couple Bible classes

Fast food persnicketiness

Gnarled-up gumbo lip

25:00

Fruit in the Christmas stocking

Ripped from today’s headlines: Jeffrey Dahmer

Harland’s new series: Robot Monster for Nick

How to pronounce high-class words

30:00

Cher, Sherriff, and Canadian music

Harland can’t show the picture of Robot and Monster, no wait, yes he can

The lobster crane game

Baby delivery methods

35:00

Elf on the Shelf, manipulative children’s behavior modification device

Harland’s Everest-related child-care advice

40:00

Paper clips, bubble gum, and baboon butts

Jimmy’s love of gumballs

Everyone bails on Jimmy’s faux racism

Harland’s “Origins” joke is too smart for the room

45:00

This litigeous society, with whistling sound effects

Bennie and the Jets

Harland goes out on a limb to suggest that the whistle during Bennie and the Jets was done in-studio

Harland either won or lost an argument that he may or not have started and may or may not have understood and/or changed mid-argument

Remembering meeting Jimmy, and Jimmy’s need for bathroom privacy

50:00

Harland’s kindness to Jimmy

Harland performs in lady-makeup

The intricacies of Harland’s career management

Apologies to anyone named Katz

55:00

Matt dropped the ball on something that will be taken care of and will still happen

BREAK
(Pardcast-a-thon downloads available 12/15/11)

Jimmy’s hot new character: Guy Who Doesn’t Know How to Gesture

Ring My Bell

The history of Jimmy’s hair

Harland might be doing VO5 commercials

Inside jokes, inside the shower

1:00:00

Harland’s overaged movie roles

Grownups talk about children’s shows

Personal questions abour Harland’s personal life, Chief

“I’m on the floor”

1:05:00

We won’t plug Harland’s podcast, The Harland Highway

“Buddy” is preferable to “arse-munch” or is it?

Jimmy gets invited to Coster’s house

Horror movies

The soothing sounds of Vangelis

The Friends of Mr. Cairo

1:10:00

Jimmy is concerned about the disappearance of the Balcony Makeout Couple

Kissing smokers and morning mouth

Matt has a passionate opinion about alcohol in mouthwash

Dan has a passionate opinion about alcohol in mouthwash

Jimmy has a passionate opinion about alcohol in mouthwash

Jimmy spills the beans on his drinking days

Checking in with new blingy microphone

1:15:00

Harland’s KFC joke, Lee Harvey Oswald, and G. Gordon Liddy

The stock holdings of Jimmy,  Harland, and Matt

Celery and Sesame Street

Old school kid’s characters are old

1:20:00

Jimmy’s resemblance to Medusa

Radio and Rhiannon vs. Rihanna

Jimmy’s false history of the put-upon hero

Following baseball

“Seven minute abs!”

There’s something about remembering There’s Something About Mary

1:25:00

Elton John’s Rocket Man in the movie Rocket Man

Harland busts open the ugly side of showbiz: clearance rights for images and music

The Hangover II tattoo rights saga

Jimmy might have the same tattoo as a celebrity

1:30:00

Harland might get Never Not Funny sued for his pitch-perfect rendition of “Let’s get readyyy to rummmmm************!!!”

Phone-jamming technology in venues

Jimmy lost his ass on “Where’s the Beef?”

Jimmy Lady Voice: The Return

Ending on a laugh and A Christmas Carol

Subscibe here

AK-47 gone, not forgotten

IN-STUDIO NOTES BY DAN KATZ

Harland Williams0 – Season 10 is a clunker. Jimmy has a new microphone. It is both cold and hot outside. By the way, Santa Claus is coming to town. Everyone is wearing a Dan Katz shirt.5 – Fuck Eggnog

10 – Jimmy tells the origin story of the Pardo/Williams relationship.

15 – Guest Harland Williams ruined Jimmy’s Halloween. Harland writes children’s books too. Harland lost his virginity 3 times. At Harland’s insistence, Jimmy does a lady’s voice.

20 – There are so many things Jesus can’t do. Harland lost his virginity for the 4th and 5th time at fast food joints. The guys talk Arby’s.

25 – Harland didn’t do his laundry, ran out of socks, and had to wear Christmas stockings.

30 – The guys talk about the band Sheriff.

35 – Elf on the shelf is the best. The guys talk about a baby climbing Everest.

40 – A baboon’s ass looks like bubble gum, but it’s not. Jimmy loves white gumballs, doesn’t care for black gumballs. Black Gumball was a great Pam Grier movie. A lady called Harland a troglodyte for hitting her son.

45 – The guys talk Benny & The Jets. Harland tells the story about the fact that Jimmy doesn’t enjoy doing a #2 in a hotel room.

50 – The guys talk about Harland’s management. Apologies to The Katz family.

BREAK

0 – Jimmy has a new character: Guy Who Doesn’t Know How To Gesture. The guys talk about the different ages Harland has played.

5 – Jimmy and Matt talk about the shows their kids watch. Harland is a bachelor. Jimmy talks about the hardest he’s ever laughed with his father. Harland talks about Anthony Lapides.

10 – The guys talk about Vangelis. The guys miss the balcony couple. They probably broke up. Jimmy’s not sure if he should be using the mic.

15 – 20:  Hot Diggitty Dog sing-a-long

25 – Jimmy forgets Harland’s scene in There’s Something About Mary. Harland talks about royalty licensing for movies.

2 thoughts on “1001 – Harland Williams

  1. Pingback: Actor, Director, Comedian, Author, Cartoon Voice – Harland Williams |

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