Due to an accounting error: Pat Francis

Yes, we know he was supposed to be on 2 episodes ago, but the accounting department had a hard drive crash which left everything a total mess, so Pat is on 710 instead of 708. But it’s fine, because he is well worth the wait! It’s only a 2 week delay, but meanwhile it might take payroll up to 4 weeks to recover from the error, so we ask that all the employees of the vast Never Not Funny organization sit tight; your checks will show up just as soon as we can get them out. Unfortunately, the employee who actually mails the checks quit, because she didn’t get her check on time, which means we are currently looking for someone to fill that position.

Anyway, enough behind-the-curtain talk. Episode 710 brings us the complete Jimmy Pardo Quiz (thanks to Amanda Bremmer-Zimmerman, a name which I think breaks some kind of rules regarding overuse of the letter M), along with witty repartee, amusing anecdotes, and various other jokish and funny content.

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Kittens! It’s Greg Proops!

Jimmy and Matt welcome Greg Proops, a legend of comedy, for Never Not Funny #709!  Just a few of Greg’s credits are, well, easy to find via Google, so look them up yourself. I have a baseball game to go to.

The guys discuss Greg’s neither-gay-nor-Jewish Nickelodeon character, old-timey show biz, old-timey baseball, and how to dress on stage. Plus lots more stuff!

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Janet Varney, Queen of the Unexpected Callback!

Never Not Funny 708 brings us the delightful, lovely, witty, but never shirtless Janet Varney! Jimmy, Matt, and Janet talk about baseball, movies, things that strap to the chest, and a disgusting recipe for scrambled eggs.

Also, Jimmy tracks down the cause of piss-whiff in his home bathroom, Matt has a minimum of four gross references, and Janet proves her expertise on all things carny-related.

Plus: contest winners are announced.

What the hell else could you ask for in a Never Not Funny Episode?

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Behind the scenes: search terms

While we are all anxiously awaiting the next episode of Never Not Funny, here’s a little something to kill some time.

People find NeverNotNotes through a variety of ways. Obviously, when it’s mentioned on Never Not Funny, the traffic goes up. A banner from pardcast.com also links to the individual episodes. The e-mailed Never Not Funny newsletter also brings a lot of visitors. In addition to all that, I announce new posts and episodes via Twitter and Facebook. This is not news to most of you.

But I think the most interesting way people find the site is through search terms. WordPress.com (where this site is hosted) keeps track of the search terms used to find the site, so I thought I’d let you peek behind the curtain into the wonderful world of search terms.

By far, the most common term is never not notes in its various permutations: never not notes; ”never not notes”; never not funny notes. At least one person must have been interested in a specific episode because they searched for never not note.

Some people search for nevernotnotes.com, which tells me that many people still don’t know how to use the address bar on their web browser.

Others find the site by searching for a specific person, such as Mike Siegel, Rachel Quaintance, or our friend Andrew Koenig. Some people get a little more specific: Pat Francis Facebook; Jimmy Pardo Monster Drink; and Maria Bamford as momstar.

Some come upon the site in their quest for gossip. such as comedy and everything else todd glass leaving and Why did Mike Schmidt leave Never Not Funny?

Here are a few others:

“when i’m cleaning windows” pardcast
“jennifer pelkey” aspecialthing
never not funny transcripts
liz lemon high def
rachel quaintance photo
pinup pastries
never not funny blog
never not funny season 1 notes (Don’t hold your breath!)
pardcast primo
never not funny pat francis ebay
jimmy pardo fan facebook
pardcast conan 608
rachel quaintance podcast
never not notes darryl

There you go. A peek behind the curtain. I hope it doesn’t totally ruin Never Not Notes for you.

Jesse Thorn, well-dressed and well-drugged

Few people can raise property values by their mere presence. Such a people is Jesse Thorn, host of The Sound of Young America and Jordan Jesse Go!

The mere presence of his classy self immediately added 10% to the value of the building in which Never Not Funny Headquarters is located. Of course, property taxes went up as well, so the 7-11 downstairs had to raise their prices on Slurpees, hot dogs, taquitos, and Thanksgiving leftover sandwiches during Jesse’s visit.

But, in order to maintain humility amidst his classiness, Jesse lets us know that he is making his Never Not Funny appearance in the middle of drug-induced haze. I’m sure Jesse isn’t the first or last, but he is the most forthright about it. Of course it’s entirely legal and moral, to help Jesse deal with his chronic migraine headaches.

But despite the haze, Jesse gives a top notch performance, and comes close to having a Battle of the Pants with Intern Dan!

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Author, actress, bedwetter: Sarah Silverman

Episode 706 of Never Not Funny features another first-time guest. I know you are disappointed that it’s not Pat Francis again already, or some other familiar name, but this Sarah Silverman is really funny! Trust me!

She’s an author, actress, bedwetter, and, more importantly for Never Not Funny fans, a comedian.

This just might be her big break, so enjoy this episode and get ready to start telling people “Hey! I loved Sarah Silverman before Sarah Silverman was cool!”

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A peek behind the scenes

I’ve been reluctant to get into the exact details of how I create the Never Not Funny show notes, but I did allow my close personal friend Rob Tafoya exclusive access to take a photograph of the highly secured NeverNotNotes.com headquarters. Thanks Rob for the excellent photography, and for knowing what’s good for you if you ever divulge the location.

People sometimes ask how long it takes to do the notes. Well, the first listen is always just for fun, so I don’t count that as part of “doing the notes.” But after that, it takes a 2 to 4 hours per episode. Even with all that high tech equipment in the photo!

Who the hell is Steve Almond?

I’ve never heard of him either, so don’t feel bad! Turns out he’s a writer and wrote this whole book called Rock and Roll Will Save Your Life.

The book sounds like it’s pretty good, and funny, and interesting. But who cares? What you want to know is: Is Steve Almond a good guest for Never Not Funny? Or should you start whining now about how this isn’t Oprah, or Book Club of the Month.

Well, gang, hold off the whining! Steve Almond is a very funny dude in a Chocolate Boy tee shirt who fits right in with the show as easily as a thing that fits another thing fits that thing.

Funny stuff abounds, and Jimmy nearly has to kick Steve off the show when he calls him a name which I won’t spoil but it’s “fucker.”

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Episode 704? You do the math! Who else could it be?

Pat Francis, official Third Chair, Consistent Jackass, video stalker, retired comedian and writer, best friend of Jimmy, and the guy to whom it was said “That’s on you man” is HERE!!!!

Thrill at the sound of Pat’s new catchphrase, sure to catch fire across the nation! Hug your neighbor as the tension mounts as to whether the Bow-Dazzler story will ever be told. And wonder if it was worth it.

All that, plus: what makes Pat and Jimmy cry? How does Matt get Eliot to shut up? Who is going to the Asia concert with Pat? How many Sing Along with Jimmys are there, and how many whiny complaints from fans will there be about it?

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The premier of Andy Kindler on Never Not, uh, and that other word that means humorous or something I can’t remember it, but if I did I would put it right here

Yes, it’s true! Andy Kindler joins the Never Not Funny fold and brings his unique take on everything from that one thing he can’t remember to that other thing that’s right on the tip of his tongue!

As seen on Everybody Loves Raymond, Late Show with David Letterman, Dr. Katz Professional Therapist, and that other thing and some other things, Andy is a true delight and we welcome him to the family!

Will he be back in another season? It’s hard to say! We’ll find out after he realizes he’s working for gas money.

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